


Closed Eyes Open

by Alexandria (heartfullofelves)



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Blood and Injury, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Post-Series, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-22 04:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10689459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartfullofelves/pseuds/Alexandria
Summary: Five years later, Eve comes to Varia's aid, in more ways than one.





	Closed Eyes Open

The tavern doors burst open and in limped a wounded woman with a dark ponytail. Eve glanced up. Her cup landed on the table with a loud _thunk_ ; it had been five years since she’d last seen that face. The woman swayed on her feet, but Eve stood and rushed to catch her before she fell.

Dark eyes looked at her saviour with great effort. “Eve?” Varia frowned.

Eve gripped Varia’s shoulders. “Are you okay?”

“What do you think?” Varia’s eyes slipped closed as she swayed in Eve’s arms.

The innkeeper appeared at Eve’s shoulder. “What seems to be the problem here?”

“Get me a room for the night,” Eve ordered. “Two beds. I’ll need any medical supplies you have – bandages, needle and thread, ointments…”

“Yes, ma’am. Take the first room on the left once you’re up the stairs.”

“Thank you.” Eve dismissed him with a nod, then turned to Varia. “Can you manage the stairs?”

Varia’s eyelids fluttered open. “Of course.”

Eve doubted the Amazon’s confidence but wrapped her arm around her waist while Varia draped her arm around Eve’s shoulder. She winced at the weight, not as strong as she’d once been, now that she only ever fought in self-defence, and it reminded her that she ought to put on some more arm muscle. With agonising slowness – she was a woman of peace, but patience had never flowed through her veins – she helped Varia over to the staircase. Varia glanced up and set her jaw, rolling her shoulders back. This would be no easy task.

Eve tightened her hold on Varia’s waist and took the first step, Varia following. They made it halfway up the stairs before Varia began to sweat, and they came to a halt.

“Come on,” Eve encouraged. “We’re nearly there.”

Varia puffed a few times, then straightened. She nodded, and lifted her leg.

By the time they reached the last step, Eve’s arm was slick with Varia’s sweat and Varia was sobbing in agony. She groaned as they completed the ascent. Eve assessed her and dragged her into the first room on the left, helping her lie down on the nearest bed to the door.

The innkeeper entered with a bowlful of medical supplies, which Eve took with a grateful smile, asking him to boil some water for her before she closed the door and turned back to her patient. She tended to Varia’s twisted ankle first, knowing it was bad practice to start with the least serious injury, but unwilling to go near the bleeding wounds until she’d washed her hands.

Varia winced as Eve poked around her ankle before wrapping a bandage around it. “ _Ouch_.”

Eve smiled, meeting her gaze. “Save your big reaction for later,” she replied, pointing at Varia’s bleeding arm and stomach.

“Thanks for helping me,” Varia said, voice weak.

Eve’s smile disappeared, replaced with a furrowed brow and straight lips. “It’s the least I can do.” She finished with the bandage, then knelt so she could take a closer look at Varia’s stomach wound. It looked bad, but she couldn’t tell how much of the blood was Varia’s, for it was obvious she’d been in battle.

A knock sounded at the door. Eve got to her feet and opened it.

“My father said you needed this?” A girl with two short plaits held out a bowl of hot water.

“Thank you. Can you put it there?” Eve pointed to the small table between the beds.

The girl set down the bowl. “Do you need anything else?”

Eve took a quick inventory of what she had, glancing at Varia, whose eyes were closed and her cheeks pale. “No – actually, I left my food and drink at my table. Could you get it for me?”

“Were you at the table nearest the entrance?”

“That’s right.”

The girl went, and Eve washed her hands before soaking a cloth which she used to wipe away the blood on Varia’s stomach. Now she could see clearly, she could tell it was just a scratch, so she put ointment on it and moved up to Varia’s sword arm, which was staining the bedsheets. Eve washed away some of the dried blood, then wadded up a dry cloth and pressed it against the wound.

“What happened?” she asked as she tried to stop the bleeding.

There was no response.

Her eyes darted to Varia’s face, and her heart jumped. Reaching out with her free hand, she checked for a breath, and sighed when she found one. Not dead, just unconscious. And that would make the next step easier, she thought as she prepared a needle and thread.

* * *

Once she’d finished tending to Varia’s wounds, she cleaned all the blood off her patient, then washed her hands and returned to her unfinished supper. She’d intended to offer it to Varia, but by the time she awoke it would be cold and congealed, so Eve finished her food and drink, knowing she could order more when Varia was awake.

Someone knocked on the door. Eve got up to answer it, downing the last of her ale. It was the innkeeper’s daughter, asking if she could take anything away. Eve gave her the dirty dishes, including the bowlful of bloody water, to return to the kitchen.

“Do you need anything else?” the girl asked, screwing up her face at the sight of blood.

Eve thought for a moment, then said, “If you’ve got time, you could pick some pretty flowers and put them in a vase for me.”

The girl grinned. “I grow the prettiest flowers in the village! They’ll brighten up this room, all right!”

“Good. What’s your name, little one?” Eve smiled.

“Olivia,” said the girl, and Eve’s heart froze, “but you can call me Livi.”

The smile slipped off Eve’s face. The similarity was a coincidence, but it brought back memories anyway. “Nice to meet you, Livi,” she said. “I’m Eve. But you can call me Eve.”

Livi giggled. “You’re funny.”

“Not really, but thank you. How old are you, Livi?”

Now the girl beamed. “I turn nine tomorrow.”

“Doing anything fun?”

Livi shook her head. “I have to go to _school_. It’s not fair.”

The conversation was interrupted by Varia stirring. Eve rushed to her side, holding her shoulder down when she tried to get up.

“Stay still,” Eve said. “You need to rest.”

“I’ll rest when I’m dead,” replied Varia, eyes alert as she struggled against Eve.

Eve raised an eyebrow. “So you’re not in any pain?”

Varia glowered, but stilled. “I hate being a patient.”

“Everyone does. But look at yourself: you’ve had an arrow to your bicep, a sword in your stomach, and you’ve twisted your ankle. You need to heal, and to do that you need to rest,” Eve said as if she were telling this to a five-year-old. “You should know that.”

Varia’s eyes slipped closed and her breathing slowed. Shaking her head, Eve smoothed back Varia’s hair and returned to the doorway, where Livi still stood.

“You like her, don’t you?” the girl asked.

“What makes you think that?”

Livi shrugged. “The way you looked at her and touched her hair.”

“I did something very bad to her a long time ago,” Eve explained in a soft tone. “I hope I can make things better by helping her now. I was a very mean person back then, but I’ve changed.”

“You still like her, though.”

“Liking has nothing to do with it.” She hoped Livi didn’t notice her pink cheeks.

“She likes you,” Livi said with an impish smile. “She went back to sleep when you told her to, _and_ she let you touch her.”

“She’s exhausted and injured,” Eve reasoned, then changed the subject. “Are you going to get those flowers?”

She just wanted to make the room look nice, she lied to herself. That was all.

* * *

The village rooster’s morning crow woke Varia from her deep sleep. When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was a vase overflowing with colourful flowers, and she frowned, wondering where she was. It came back to her when she noticed the ache along her whole right arm. She groaned as she rolled from her back onto her side, too weak to stand.

The figure in the other bed stirred, then sat up. Varia’s heart thudded as she caught sight of the too-familiar blue eyes, but she called on her Amazon training to calm herself down, remembering how Eve had helped her last night.

Eve yawned, and got out of bed. Varia, slow to notice Eve was naked, closed her eyes as soon as her brain caught up to speed and Eve began to dress. Varia waited. The room was too silent, too tense, and she had to break it.

“Good morning,” she said, face scrunched up.

“You’re awake,” said Eve. “Good. How’re you feeling?”

As much as Varia wanted to be her stoic self, Eve _was_ her healer. “Sore,” she admitted, opening and closing her right fist.

She then bent and straightened her elbow a few times. The motions made her wince. When she guessed it was safe, she opened her eyes to see Eve standing over her bed.

“I’m not surprised. What happened?” Eve asked, face open and peaceful in a way that Varia kind of hated, even now. “How did you get hurt?”

“In battle; where else?” she answered. She hesitated. “But it was the worst I’ve ever seen.” She closed her mouth, gulping, unwilling to continue.

“Tell me about it.” Eve knelt, touching Varia’s bicep.

Varia flinched, then realised Eve was only examining her stitches. “The Romans,” she said. “They attacked our lands but in such numbers we didn’t stand a chance. A few of us escaped and ran as far as we could, but we were all injured. We got separated; some were captured or killed on the spot. As far as I know, I’m the last one alive.” Her voice wobbled, and she bit her lip as she relived the horrors of the past two days.

“I’m so sorry.” Eve touched Varia’s hand. Her blue eyes watered, and the compassion moved Varia to tears as well, especially with the news she had yet to break.

“Eve,” she began. “I have to tell you… Gabrielle is dead. She led us heroically, but… she didn’t make it.”

Eve stared at her. “No,” she moaned. “I was to meet her here, today… No!”

“I’m so sorry,” Varia whispered.

Tears ran down her face unchecked, and her heart ached at her failure. She’d failed as a queen years ago, but now she’d also failed as an Amazon, having run from the battlefield when all was lost. She had no living friends or family, her goddess Artemis was long gone, her alliance with Ares had been a sham, and she’d witnessed things no-one should ever have to see.

Eve whispered a prayer, then covered her face with her hands, sobbing. Varia lay a shaking hand on her shoulder.

At the same time, Varia thought and Eve cried, “I have no-one left.”

Eve glanced up at Varia with such a sorrowful look that Varia’s heart broke anew, but their moment of grief was shattered by a knock on the door. Eve rubbed her face and opened the door.

“Hi, Livi. Happy Birthday.”

Varia tried not to start at the name. It must be the little girl she vaguely remembered from last night.

“Thank you!” The girl’s cheeriness hurt Varia’s ears. “Does she like the flowers?”

Eve turned to Varia. “Do you like the flowers?”

A hint of a smile appeared on Varia’s lips. “They’re beautiful, thank you.”

Livi stepped inside the room, making Eve step back. “Eve made me pick them for you.”

“Yeah, right.” Varia raised an eyebrow.

Livi giggled. “She likes you, you know.”

“Livi, could you get us some breakfast, please?” Eve requested.

“No,” Livi replied, grinning. “I have to go to school. But I’ll tell my father.”

“Thank you,” Eve said. “Have a good day at school. I hope you get something nice for your birthday.”

Livi beamed at her. “Bye, Eve! Bye, warrior lady!” She waved.

“My name’s Varia,” said Varia, but she was too late; the girl had already skipped down the stairs.

“She’s… cheerful, that one,” Eve commented, shutting the door and sitting on her bed.

“She has some funny ideas, though.”

“I agree,” Eve replied, avoiding Varia’s gaze.

“She’s so innocent,” Varia couldn’t help observing. She tried to do a foot rotation, and bit back a yelp when her ankle hurt too much to keep going.

Eve, seeming not to notice the attempt, said, “We were all like that, once.”

“Yes. But it seems a lifetime ago,” Varia mused, sitting up in bed. She winced, but otherwise tried to ignore the pain.

Eve snorted. “More like two lifetimes ago.”

“Maybe for some.” Varia stretched, then asked, “When do you think I’ll be up and about again?”

Eve looked over at her at last. “Tomorrow. But you’ll be limping.”

Varia swore.

“What’s the hurry? The battle’s over,” Eve reminded her.

Varia gritted her teeth. “I can’t stand being inactive.”

“The rest will be good for you. When’s the last time you had a perfect night’s sleep?”

She couldn’t answer.

“Exactly. There’s no rush, so just concentrate on getting better. Okay?”

“Fine,” she snapped, and resigned herself to the fact that the next twenty-four hours were going to be long and boring.

* * *

Over dinner that evening, delivered by a joyful Livi, Varia asked Eve what she’d been up to.

“I spent some time in Chin and Indus,” Eve said, putting her stew aside. “I was spreading the word of Eli and immersing myself in the Eastern cultures when I heard that Xena had died.”

“I’m sorry,” Varia murmured, remembering when Gabrielle had shown up a few years ago and announced she’d be a permanent queen rather than a part-time Amazon from now on. They’d all known Xena must be dead.

Eve nodded. “I’m still travelling the world as the Messenger of Eli, but I came to Greece to meet with Gabrielle.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t get to see her.” Varia shot Eve an apologetic look. One whole day in Eve’s company, and they’d warmed up to each other somewhat.

“Me too.” Eve hung her head. “It’s been five years since I last saw her and Mother.”

“You feel guilty,” Varia observed, finishing her stew and putting her dishes to the side.

“I have so much guilt,” Eve admitted.

“It’s a heavy burden to carry.” The years had taught Varia that, if nothing else.

“Yes. As much as I try, I can never atone for all that I’ve done.” Eve clenched her fists.

“You should look to your mother for inspiration,” Varia advised. “Everyone knows how she fought for good as penance for her past.”

“She helped me, and I’m grateful, but I’m not my mother. If I fight again, I just know Livia will come back. I need to do good, but peacefully.”

Varia smiled. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, but you’re a good healer.”

“Really?” Eve’s eyes lit up.

“Don’t let it get to your head, but yeah.” Varia could see Eve helping sick and injured people on a permanent basis.

“I’ll keep it in mind. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Varia smiled, ducking her head.

“What are you going to do now? Where will you go?” asked Eve.

Varia’s smile slipped. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Being an Amazon is a way of life; I never thought I’d need a plan B.”

“Your world has come undone.” Eve crossed the distance between them and touched Varia’s hand.

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t you travel with me for a bit, until you decide what to do next? It gets lonely on your own.”

Varia couldn’t say no to Eve’s kindness. “Okay. But just for a little while.”

They heard Livi yell from outside the room, “Have you kissed her yet?”

Varia caught Eve’s gaze and they laughed, rolling their eyes.

* * *

The next morning, they set off. With Livi’s father’s help, they’d managed to make some wooden crutches for Varia, who needed to get back on her feet but had collapsed into Eve’s arms after walking the length of the room. Livi waved them off before she ran to school.

After a day of being cooped up inside, Varia basked in the sunlight as they walked – hobbled, in her case – and breathed in the fresh air with a smile. It felt good to be on the road, even though she didn’t have a destination in mind. They walked in silence for a while, Varia glancing sideways at Eve every so often, but she didn’t seem to feel a need to speak, so Varia let it be. Eve’s peaceful smile made it clear there was no need to change the status quo.

Eve decided around midday they should take a break. Varia agreed, and sat down on the grass beside the road, stretching out her legs and keeping her crutches close at hand. She gave herself a moment to catch her breath. She didn’t tell Eve, but her injured arm was aching. When she checked the stitches, though, they were fine, so she just needed to strengthen up her arm again. She’d manage.

Eve had joined her on the ground and was just opening up a food bag when she froze, listening. Varia frowned, turning her head in the direction of the noise. She and Eve exchanged a glance, then she reached behind her back to draw her sword with her left hand. Together, they got to their feet to face the five men coming towards them.

They were cutthroats, dressed in black, the type Varia supposed Gabrielle and Xena had once faced every day, and their evil grins made no secret of their intentions. She pointed her sword at the obvious leader of the group.

“What do you want?” she called.

He eyed her up. “You and your friend here would make pretty slave girls, don’t you think? Attack!”

The men rushed towards them. Varia, who would never let herself be taken as a slave, burst into action as much as she could, given her injuries, and in her peripheral vision noticed Eve also fighting the men, only instead of killing, she just incapacitated them. The women took down two men each, Varia swinging her sword while standing rooted on the spot while Eve blocked and punched and kicked. Eve was making sure the others were all unconscious as the leader crept up behind her with a vicious look of rage. Varia acted without thinking. She leapt in between the attacker and Eve, landing on her ankle in a way that made her cry out, and thrust her sword into his chest.

Eve turned around. “You didn’t need to kill him!” she protested as Varia withdrew her sword and pushed the leader’s body to the ground.

“You would keep him alive?” she returned. “You would keep all of them alive? They’re scum; they don’t deserve to live.”

“Everybody deserves to live,” Eve said. “But thank you for saving my life.”

Varia nodded. “Let’s get out of here.”

She was sweating and aching, but hanging around could only mean more trouble, so she sheathed her sword and picked up her crutches as Eve picked up her bags.

There was silence as they continued down the road, then Eve said, “You fought three men while injured and in pain. And I saw you used your left arm. I’m impressed.”

Varia scowled, keeping her eyes ahead. “What makes you think I’m in pain?”

“It’s obvious from your eyes and jaw that you’re trying to hide it,” said Eve. “I’m sorry. I should’ve made you rest another day.”

“No way. I was spoiling for a fight.” Varia turned and shared an ironic grin with Eve. _Don’t be guilty_ , she thought but didn’t say. Guilt was a useless emotion that Eve already had an abundance of. But Varia doubted her wisdom would be welcomed.

“And now you’ve had it.”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s rest under that tree there.” Eve pointed at a tree ten yards away, not waiting for a reply as she marched towards it and sat in the shade.

Varia sank down next to Eve. “Got any food?”

Eve opened a bag and pulled out an apple. She tossed it to Varia, who caught it and stared at Eve.

“What?” Eve frowned.

“Do you know what you just did?”

“No…”

“You grew up Roman. Not Greek,” Varia said, still staring at Eve.

“Well, yeah. So?”

Varia glanced down at the apple in her hand, then back up at Eve. “So…” She hesitated, not sure how to proceed. She decided on the straightforward approach. “You just asked me to marry you. And technically I said yes, but that’s just because I didn’t want the apple to get bruised.”

Eve stared in shock for a long moment. Then she burst out laughing. “Livi would love this!” she said. “Please don’t hold me to it.”

Varia scowled. “As if.”

Eve continued to laugh as if it were the funniest thing to ever happen to her. Perhaps it was.

“Okay. You can stop laughing now.”

“Sorry.” Eve sobered for a second, then cracked up again. “It seems I have a lot to learn about Greek customs,” she said once she’d stopped.

“Can’t have you proposing to all the girls in Greece.” Varia fought to keep a straight face.

Eve fixed her with a stern gaze. “Don’t be stupid. I’d run out of apples long before then.” She snickered again.

It was good to banter, and Varia allowed herself a small chuckle. For the first time in too long, she felt hopeful.


End file.
